Chosen for Love Beyond a Void

A little while back, I was reading from a collection of Blessed Fulton Sheen's works in Life is Worth Living in our library basement, and I came across this quote:

"It is the possibility of a no that gives such charm to  'yes'"

This quote was in relation of God giving us free-will. This free will is in relation to our choice to love Him. When God created mankind, He decided that we would have the option to enter His kingdom by loving Him in return. The choice to love God enters our every action, because if we love God, then each action will be made to serve Him and bring His kingdom to Earth. And when we choose to reject God for a moment in our sins, we step away from the kingdom.

Because each decision we make is a choice to love or not, every person has the opportunity to experience and more deeply understand what it means to be accepted or rejected. We all have the chance to feel what God does when we enter in to a relationship of any sort with someone else.

Unfortunately, our vision of what love looks like has become distorted. With novels and songs and movies that depict a completely dominant character and a completely obedient character filling our lives, the only image of love we have is very one sided. One person says "yes" to loving another person over and over while the other may only say "thank you" once or twice. Yet the submissive character chooses to remain because they do not believe that they are going to ever find "love" again. The song, "She Don't Love You" by Eric Paslay:

"She don't love you, she's just lonely
She don't know another way
To break free from what's been broken"

We believe that if we do not do exactly as the other person wishes, we will be left alone. In a world of constant communication and instant gratification, the concept being alone and silent is terrifying. So we choose to pour our hearts out to people, just so that we can believe that we are being loved in return. Love is not an action anymore, but rather a presence. We choose someone to fill the void.

My Void

I am a very loving person. My parents raised me to treat each person as if I were looking in the face of Christ when I meet them. Sometimes I fail, but my ultimate goal is to love each person as much as I can. Because of this, I found myself running thin and tired year after year. Because I did not know how to receive love in return for my love for others, I started to run out of steam. All I needed were a few heart to heart conversations to fill me up for the semester, and then I would sit and listen and be stepped on with a smile. It did not matter that I was broken. Everyone else was more important than me.

Each time I grew weary, I found a person. It was usually an unexpected companion, either because of their cultural background or their previous role in my life. All they did was listen to my sob story for however long I needed it, and I was hooked. Sometimes that person only maintained that role for a short time, but other times these people took on an unnecessarily large role in my life. They never did anything beyond listen to my problems, yet I chose to make them the most important person in the world. Their problems dominated my mind. Their needs filled my prayer life. Their lives became my favorite form of entertainment.

For some strange reason, I believed that God was teaching me the real meaning of love through these people. I thought that by giving my every waking part of myself to those that seemed to care first, that I was actually receiving true love. After all, not very many people want to listen to other people anymore. Their problems matter more than the person next to them. We ask the homeless for their life stories and then refuse to give them comfort.

Just being there when someone shows up is not love. Not running away is not love. 

This is Love

No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends ~John 15:13

God's sacrificial love through Jesus Christ is what true love is. He loves us enough to die for us, yet he does this only so that we may choose to love him again. He chooses to love us and is waiting for us to love him in return. Before we were born, God decided to love us, and He wants us to experience it in our daily lives through the choices of others.

God showed me who truly loved me

My Family

The first place that we have the opportunity to experience God's love is through our families. I am blessed to say that I have been given nothing but the greatest gift on Earth through Team Newton.

My mother chooses daily to support me when I am irrational and emotional beyond belief. My father reads every single one of my lab reports and never lets me give up on my dreams. Mark keeps my faith burning. Joseph loves on me when I need it the most and say it the least. Cordelia sings along to my favorite songs, even though she may hate them. Penelope cheers and hugs me every time I come in to the room.

Most of all, my second youngest sister Evangeline has loved me when I loved her least. I would ignore her and be rude. If she gave something to me, I would simply smile and step away. Like so many of the relationships I had partaken in, she gave and gave and gave, receiving very little in return. However, she always forgave me when I apologized. I have since started to reconcile with this six year old, and she has shown me that when we choose to love someone else, the return is invaluable in worth. She has saved me from myself.

We can all receive selfless love within our families. I know that not all of my Dear Readers have the opportunity to be loved by an immediate family. However, I do know that there is a great family, one that extends beyond time and place and thought:

"As a body is one though it has many parts, and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body, so also Christ. 

For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body, whether Jews or Greeks, slaves or free persons, and we were all given to drink of one Spirit. Now the body is not a single part, but many." ~1 Corinthians 12:12-14

God gave us the church so that we may enter in to His family and experience the love of Christ. Certainly we have our families here on Earth, but God does not leave His faithful alone. We are all His sons and daughters, and the Church brings us together. It is my greatest joy to know that I will some day meet all of my siblings in Christ in Heaven.

Friendship

The second place that we have the opportunity of experiencing God's love in is our friendships. I have numerous friends that have made an impact on my life, but I believe that only a chosen few have truly embodied the meaning of the word "friend."

"Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter;
whoever finds one finds a treasure.
Faithful friends are beyond price,
no amount can balance their worth.
Faithful friends are life-saving medicine;
those who fear God will find them.
Those who fear the Lord enjoy stable friendship,
for as they are, so will their neighbors be." ~Sirach 6:14-17

A true friend is someone that loves us for all that we are and all that we are going to be. They strive for a relationship that grows in Christ as well as in love. They save our lives and they bring the love Christ in to our hearts in the process. In all of my life, I can only count a couple people who truly fit this mold. That is how it is meant to be. Not every person is meant to be your best friend, but we are meant to love others with genuine care and respect. When we do this, a true friendship may be built.

I did not notice these amazing friends for a long time. Because I was so obsessed with these big relationships, I ignored the people that loved me daily in simple ways. However, I have started to return to their lives, and they have welcomed me with open arms. When I chose to love them, they returned that love, and the joy that has entered my life from this is immeasurable.

This is how Christ loves us.

How He Loves Us

If you remember the story of the Prodigal Son, you may remember that the Father runs to the son. He does not sit at the top of the hill, waiting for his son to fall at his feet. Instead, the father sprints to his son, the one who once said that his father was dead to him, all because he loves him. God loves us in this way.

As soon as we choose to love him, regardless of the lives we have been living, God runs to us. The world tells us that we have to earn God's love, that we have to give and give and give. The world tells us that we have to be in constant pain from carrying our cross. The world says love is a struggling service.

God says this instead:

"I have told you these things so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But be of good cheer. I have overcome the world." ~John 16:33 

No matter the lives we are living, God chooses to love us. Even though we may expect a "no" from God for all of our requests, He chooses to make our lives greater. Like the Prodigal Son, the Father dresses us in glory as we come to Him.

God lets us experience this love through true friendships and from our families. He blesses us with people who truly love us, who choose from their own free will to love Him through loving us.

You are loved. Never settle less than for than greatness.

And remember.

You are always someone's first choice.

You are His.