It's late at night and you are listening to sad love songs and watching proposal videos over and over, sobbing in to your Ben and Jerry's. Yet again, you find yourself watching your friends' relationship statuses change from "in a relationship" to "engaged" to "married" while your status could potentially change from "in like" to "in love" to "crushed" for the third time in the past four years. Everyone seems to be able to figure out that whole "love" thing, and yet you are alone again.
Your heart is full of love. You pour and pour and pour, hoping that maybe one seed will blossom in to the flower you have always dreamed of.
But it doesn't grow, no matter how desperately you try.
Every so once in a while, you see a sprout. You get excited and run to show all of your friends in the garden. Finally, you are able to make something work. Finally, you have the foundation you hear about time after time. Finally, you think you will find love.
Then it doesn't grow, no matter how well you tended the plant.
Your friends tell you that it isn't your fault that you are single. They tell you that you are "intimidating" or that "God wants you to wait." No amount of free ice cream cones and sweet notes can make you feel whole again, and most of the time you think it is just a pity party. After all, your friends are either making it in their career or are in serious relationships. They seem to have something figured out.
What did you do wrong? Why can't you make him love you?
Your friends tell you that you're pretty, and that you have either the body everyone wants or that you are super fit. They tell you that your smile is precious and that you have the best hair. But after the thousandth time, you start to wonder if they really mean it. Because if your friends really think you are that beautiful, why can't a man tell you that for once?
What is wrong with your body? Why can't you beautiful like everyone else?
STOP.
What did you do wrong? Nothing.
Why can't you make him love you? That is not for you to decide.
What is wrong with your body? Nothing.
Why can't you be beautiful like everyone else? You are beautiful like everyone else.
Stop telling yourself that it is your fault that you aren't dating someone. Stop blaming yourself for when things don't work out. Stop thinking that there was one difference, one conversation, one pound, one memory, or one choice that led you to your perpetually single status.
Your little "imperfections" are not what defines you. They do not determine your current relationship.
They make your future one that much greater.
Your past is so much less important than you believe it is.
Your little imperfections are the things that make you perfect.
Start telling yourself that it is your choice to live your life. Start accepting the friendships you are blessed to have. Start thinking that every unique aspect, every conversation, every workout, every moment, and every choice is leading you to the life you are meant to live.
Why are you beautiful? Because you are not like anyone else.
Why is your body perfect? Everything.
Why will he love you? Because you chose to love him for all he is.
What did you do right? Everything.
START.
Believe that you are beautiful. Believe that everyone is beautiful too.
Tell your friends that they are pretty. Tell them that they have special little things that no one else has. Let them know that you value them for who they are. Tell them over and over and over again, because no one is alone in the battle against the devil. Let them know that you truly believe they are beautiful, and some one will see that.
Believe in yourself. Believe that you are worth being loved.
Let the heartbreaks come, and let your friends comfort you. Let them take you to Sonic at 2am, simply because they saw your face drop as you were opening the door to your room. Let them give you hugs, and let God speak through them. No man can love you like your friends can. Appreciate them, because they are the ones that make your heart whole, not that guy who kissed you.
Keep tending your garden, even when it seems hopeless.
Watch for the sprouts in the ground, but don't stop watering the rest of the garden when they come. Don't run away from your garden before the flowers have bloomed. Keep the ground fertile so that the flower that was meant to bloom does. Then you can show your friends.
It will grow, even if it takes a lifetime of trying.
That flower you are waiting for is going to bloom, and your heart will keep it watered forever. Don't stop pouring out your love for others. It is what makes you special.
So as you wake up in the morning with tear stained cheeks, pull up your Facebook to see the relationship statuses and the Buzzfeed links to proposal videos, and wonder where your happy ending is, remember that you are so much more than you thought you were. You will figure out the whole "love" thing, and you will be able to share your Ben and Jerry's and watch your wedding video together.
It's going to worth out.
Sincerely,
Perpetually Blessed by Family and Friendships that will last forever
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