Good Enough

Happy Easter Dear Friends! I have been trying to get a blog going for a long time, and so my new resolution is to create a blog that shares my thoughts. Most importantly, I want to share the joyous parts of our faith in Jesus Christ every moment that I can. The Title of my blog, "Happy Easter Rose" is reflected through the quote from Saint John Paul the Great.

"Do not abandon yourselves to despair. We are the Easter people and hallelujah is our song."

This past semester has truly taught me how much God love us, and how deep His love for us is no matter how far we have fallen, ran, or lost ourselves in sin. As much as I would love to recount each of these events, I will simply share the revelations that the Lord presented me with so that my Dear Friends might be able to share in the joy that He has shared with me.

You are Good Enough

The devil's favorite past-time is to convince us that we are imperfect, that God could not love someone like us. However, because we are designed to love and be loved by God, the devil distracts our hearts and tells us to focus on what is elsewhere, what is in the world.

As a single woman at a private Christian institution, there is one thing that is constantly prevailing on my newsfeed, and as a result, on my mind: relationships. Friends left and right are getting in to meaningful relationships and attaining that "Ring by Spring" status. Meanwhile, I am sitting in the lobby of my building on Valentine's day, watching my friends return in their pretty dresses and carrying large boxes of chocolates not given to them by their mothers.

I also was not as popular as I wanted to be. There were so many girls posting numerous pictures of their large groups of friends. And there I was, on duty every weekend, because I did not have anything better to do, and I did not want to have to spend another night alone. Clearly something was wrong with me if I did not have people around me all the time.

What is Wrong With Me?

This question bombarded my mind for years. I wondered if it was my body, my sensitivity, my passion for the Catholic faith, my love of science, or anything else. Clearly something had to be wrong with me if I did not have a boyfriend after four years or why people chose to hang out with everyone instead of me.

Did God make a mistake? Did He create a woman who was not worthy of love from a man? I would cry in front of my bathroom mirror, staring at my stomach fat, my medications, and my crucifix, thinking, "Clearly God did not understand how much it hurts to be a person so filled with love but with no one to love."

Finally I found something. I was too proud. People were always being put in their place, and it felt good to be on top. Even if I was different from everyone else, at least I felt good about myself in a group. Instead of admitting my daily failures, I chose to deny them. I could not remember the last time I had entered a Confessional, let alone made an honest apology for any action of my own. It was through the loving reminder of my mother that I needed to be honest and real that brought me to this recognition.

So I went to the Confessional, and God did as what was written in John's first letter:

"If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing" 1 John 1:9

Healed by God's mercy, I started to see the world more clearly. Surely I had made mistakes, and surely I was not a perfect person, but I was not a complete failure. There were things I had done wrong, but there was nothing wrong with me personally. God made me and loves me, regardless of what I have done. All I needed to do to hear that was admit that I had done something wrong. I had done many things wrong.

Just because you have made a mistake does not mean that you are a bad person, let alone are worthless. Just because you had a bad relationship does not mean that you will never love again. Just because you gained a few pounds because you chose to eat pizza instead of go to the gym does not mean you are ugly. There is nothing on Earth that could separate you from God's love.

For I am certain of this: neither death nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nothing already in existence and nothing still to come, nor any power, nor the heights nor the depths, nor any created thing whatever, will be able to come between us and the love of God, known to us in Christ Jesus our Lord.~ Romans 8:38-39

Amen? Amen.

But What if My Sin is Too Great?

I used to be in this pool of people who thought that my biggest sin, was too great for me to ever be lovable again. I used to think that if I kept sinning on top of anything that I had done before that I would fall too far away. Maybe that was what was wrong with me: God did not love certain parts of me. After all, if humanity is in His image and can choose to love parts, then maybe God does not love all of me.

This could not have been more false. Human love is imperfect and judgemental, but God's love is unconditional and eternal. I did not see this until God spoke through my best friend one night, and while the conversation had little to do with God's love for me, what he said really spoke to my broken spiritual heart:

"Felicity, I don't want you to think of a rejection as not being accepted. There is not some part of you I don't like. You're my best friend. I like all of you. So do not think of rejection as me not accepting some part of you. I like all of you."

Sin is a rejection of God's love to some small degree or a very large degree. Yet while we reject Him, Jesus chooses to love us ever still. And even though that one action may be a part that He could chose to ignore, to dislike, to not love, God chooses to love that part of us as well.

For God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but so that through him the world might be saved. John 3:17

Yes, Jesus did not get up on the Cross because He wanted to be able to say, "Yes, you can get in to Heaven, which I opened up again by the way, because you did nothing wrong and therefore are perfect." He chose to get on the Cross and die for hours because he wanted to say, "Yes, you hurt me, but you are perfect and I love you. Come have dinner with us." He wants us to be able to be with Him and to love Him.

Yes our sin is great, and yes it hurts Our Lord, but He loves us ever still. He kept His covenant with His people and sent the Messiah, even though they worshiped a golden calf instead of the God that brought them out of Egypt.

No matter what it is that you think is holding you back from God's love, whether that be your appearance, a mistake you made, a lonely feeling in your gut, or something else that no one else knows, remember that God loves ALL of you. He is waiting for us to return to Him, and His arms are wide open. He will wipe away all of your tears and will dance with you in the gardens. He will tell you that you are his precious child and give you a great big hug.

You are good enough.

You are more.

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