Wow. I am just amazed by the support of my professors here at Belmont University. Not only did they support me when I discovered that I was rejected from FOCUS, but they also sat down and wrote my letters of recommendation for grad school which were due today as soon as I told them.
God could not have brought me to a more supportive and loving place
While many saw this status, it hardly depicts the story that it tells. God worked an amazing wonder in my life through this awful week, and I would like to share the story.
My top five graduate schools had application deadlines on December 1st. As I was still waiting for FOCUS to contact me, I had hardly touched the applications. I had not notified my advisors, and I had kept the idea in the back of my mind. Naturally, I thought that my laziness was simply the Holy Spirit telling me to be patient. After all, good things come to those who wait correct?
While I lazy, my parents were busy trying to make my dreams come true. They texted me to come home the night before applications were due. We were going to get them done, whether I was going to be accepted in to FOCUS or not. I came home, and immediately my father and I started working on the applications. My mom started with us as soon as she had brought my little sister home from dance.
By the end of the night, all three of our laptops were furiously going, hastily trying to make the applications look as good as possible as quickly as possible. They read every line, paid for every fee, and gave me every ounce of confidence I needed.
I drove home feeling more confident about my future.
The next day, I received a phone call from FOCUS. Because I was in class, I had to call back. We played phone tag for a bit, and finally I got connected with my regional director. My hands shook as I anxiously waited for him to tell me that I had gotten the job.
I did not get the job.
He explained why, and I knew exactly which parts of the interview reflected those low points. I had been honest, and yet that was my downfall. I remembered feeling the need to tell certain stories to the interviewers, but my Earthly mind was angry at God for wanting me to talk about the low points of my life in such a manner.
But God wanted me to speak as I did.
Because it set me up to experience what happened next.
Ten minutes after my phone call, I received an email from most of my potential graduate schools. Each one told me that if my recommendation letters were not in by that day, that I would not be invited for an interview.
No way could my professors do that in a day.
Suddenly, my entire future started to crumble in front of me. All of my dream schools were slipping from my fingertips. I was not asked to serve God on college campuses. Even though I had tried my best, it seemed as though God was taking everything away from me again.
After crying to my mother, I made the decision to suck it up and get things done. It was what I had been raised to do, and I was not going to give up just because of some seemingly large roadblocks. If God wanted me in graduate school, then He would get me there. All I had to do was my end of the deal.
I went to my two Belmont professors, and I told them what was happening. After my shpeel, which was riddled with tears and apologies, my professors each agreed to get my applications in. Now all that was left was talking to my REU advisor.
One of my recommenders had me sit in the room as she opened up every application. She wanted me to make sure that she had them all in, and she wanted to help me. My other advisor sent me an encouraging email after she finished all of my applications. As I sat in their offices, I texted my parents, "I want to be like them when I grow up."
He informed me that he had to turn in his grant proposal as well, but he would try his best to get to my recommendations.
I did not expect him to get them in. I prepared myself to contact every department to talk to them and make up for my mistake. I opened up back up applications. I prayed for hours, desperate to hear God's reassuring voice in my heart.
At 7pm, I was notified that every single application had been completed.
God made it possible for me to strive for my dream within 6.5 hours.
If this had been a normal experience, I do not think I would have had the opportunity to see just how blessed I was, nor would I have been inspired in the same way. By seeing my professors work to give me a future, I was inspired to do the same for my future students. By the support and love from my residents, I was inspired to continue loving undergraduates and reminded myself to keep that love in mind when I started teaching. By the work of my parents, I was inspired yet again to be the best parent I could be.
God showed me my future in one of the most stressful afternoons of my life.
It was as if He told me, "Felicity, I understand you had a vision for your future, but it was not the best plan for you. Look at the impact these people have had in your life. Look at the response in your heart. Look at how happy you are with the idea of going to graduate school. Here is your chance: take it."
And so I did.
While my plans may never be exactly what God wants, I know that He will always bring me where I need to go, and to the people I need to be around. He loves me for me, and He knows the inner workings of my heart. Because of God's love for me, I have found my vocation. Because of God's love for me, I have been saved. Because of God's love for me, anything is possible.
So that's my story.
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