Dear Resident
If you opened this letter, then it means that you were either curious enough about what your RA has to tell you, or you were procrastinating just that much that you bothered to read something from that chick who thinks she can act like your mom, even though she is not even old enough to have a child. Regardless, I am grateful that you took time out of your busy schedule to read this.
I wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me that you probably would not know about. Being an RA is a hard job, but seeing you grow and having you in my life has made this job worth all the while.
When I am with you, I get to hear about all of your struggles. You can tell me when you are worried about life after graduation, and you can tell me that your are scared about changing your major again. I have the unique opportunity to be the person you can call when that boy breaks your heart again, or when your pet had to be put down and you need someone to give you a hug.
But I also get to watch you succeed.
I hear the cheers down the hall when you get the grade you needed on that exam you were so worried about. I see the smiles and laughs from the new love stories. I see your names on lists of positions on campus, the new letters on your doors, and the happy pictures on Instagram. I hear the love stories. Even if I am not always the first person you tell, I always get to see these happy moments, and I am honored to know about it.
By letting me in, you let me become part of your story. Your story is crafted so specially, and by being there, I get an insider's look at a critical part of your story. When the mountains are high, or when the valleys are low, or when there is nothing going on but you just have to tell me something random, I am there in that chapter.
You let me be a part of something greater than myself.
Yet you know that there is so much more to this job than me hearing you out. You know that I have to plan programs and I have to make sure to interact with you. You know there are obligations that are beyond the 2AM phone calls that lead to unhealthy food decisions, and the best memories.
I stopped writing down our time together on my community reports though. The time I get to spend with you is the highlight of my day. I get to love on someone who is so special, and even if it started as an obligation, spending time with you was not work anymore. Instead of being RA and resident, we became friend and friend.
It was not hard for me to send you a message, because I knew that you would respond. It was not hard to remind you of policy, because I knew you would understand. It was not hard for me to invite you to things, or for me to come with you to an event.
I do not fear being rejected anymore. While RA's are often left alone at a program, I always knew that my residents loved me. They had lives, and I know that you were no different. I understand that you really did not care about my crappy games or the lame movie I decided to show. I wouldn't either. Yet you always come up and apologize to me, and then we hang out on our own terms later.
You don't need a program or a community builder or anything fancy to be my friend.
I do not know how to express how thankful I am for you, my resident, becoming my friend. Sure, you were supposed to get along with me, but it astounds me that such cool people would actually opt to hang out with me.
You accept me for me. We share dreams together, and we laugh about the stupidest things. Sure, it's a little weird that we planned out my outfits when I went to hang out with my guy friend. Sure, it's a little odd that I need someone to approve the layout of my lab report. Sure, I am not always the most "cool" person to hang out with.
Yet you do it anyway.
And when I am unable to handle my own life...you are there for me too. You took the time to hear my story. Even if it was a little ridiculous, you still let me talk about that guy who definitely didn't like me or that professor that probably doesn't hate me that much. You understand why things are hard for me, and you let me be me in the face of it.
Thank you for letting me be vulnerable. Thank you for reminding me that vulnerability is what creates strong leaders. So thank you for holding me when I cried, and thank you for telling me that it is ok to not be ok. Thank you for supporting me against all odds.
Because of you, I never have to feel alone. As your RA, I built a community, and I know that it isn't perfect all the time, but I also know that in this community that I will be loved. What I built for you became exactly what I needed too.
So thank you for letting me hear your story, be a part of your story, and letting me share my story with you. Thank you for being the ones to let me in, and being the ones to let me come in. Thank you for understanding when I have to write you up, and thank you for understanding why I am crying about it ten minutes later.
Thank you for becoming the friend I needed.
Love always,
Your RA
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