I am especially guilty of this. Being slightly prideful when it comes to my memory, I tend to tune people out when they tell the same story over and over. Sometimes I interrupt them with a, "I know and this happened."
The light in the speaker's eyes dies out as soon as I say that.
It is somewhat ironic that I find myself interrupting my friends and family and professors when they are speaking. I tell the same stories over and over as if they were the most important thing on the planet. If someone hurt me, then I had to remind people over and over. If someone did something somewhat sweet to me, then I had to talk about it, even weeks after the fact. I want people to know what happens in my life.
So really I am not all that different from everyone else.
Why does it matter so much to finish a story?
"Storytelling reveals meaning without committing the error of defining it" ~Hannah Arendt
When we tell someone about something that happened in our lives, we are not talking about the event so much as we are trying to recreate the feeling. We want people to know what makes us happy, and we want people to understand why we are hurt. It is not so much about the exact instance as it is about the way everything happened.
When we share stories, we share our hearts.
The stories we choose to tell are the memories that hold the highest concentration of emotion, whether that is good or bad.
It is often said that people tend to enter prayer only at heights of emotion. When life is beautiful, the phrase "hashtag blessed" fills our timelines and instagram posts. When life is difficult, we turn to prayer, often with a little bit of resentment or desperation.
So when something big happens, our hearts deeply feel. We learn something about God. We learn something about ourselves. We learn who God designed us to be.
When something worth telling other people about, happens, our hearts are in a similar place as when that moment. We remember everything that happened, and as a result, we feel it in the same way. As we tell our stories, people have the opportunity to look in to that moment and experience the same emotions.
Because we don't want people to have to struggle, we give them a chance to learn the lesson without having to feel the pain that got us there.
Everyone has a unique story
It is well known that everyone lives a different life. Even twins from the same household in the same classes have different experiences.
This is deliberately done by God.
In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus describes this action:
"This is how it is with the kingdom of God;
it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land
and would sleep and rise night and day
and through it all the seed would sprout and grow,
he knows not how."
it is as if a man were to scatter seed on the land
and would sleep and rise night and day
and through it all the seed would sprout and grow,
he knows not how."
God plants seeds in our hearts. These seeds are the traits that are unique to us, and they draw humanity closer to Him. Everyone receives the seeds that will grow in to the Fruits of the Holy Spirit. As a result, from the moment of our conception, our souls are made to live in the way that God wants us to so that we may spend eternity with Him.
However, plants do not grow in the same way, even with the same seeds.
We are not meant to be exactly like anyone else.
What makes a plant grow differently? The environment that it is in. This is the same with us. We have our own stories that make us unique, and they show us how to become more and more of ourselves. Where we are planted is also a part of God's unique design of the world.
Now if a plant does not take in the nutrients that it is given, then it will wither away. Sometimes it does not grow as many fruits. Occasionally the coloration of the plant changes. It is not correct.
When we choose to ignore our experiences, we are hurt.
But when we let our experiences transform us, we shine.
And how do we have the opportunity to fully understand our experiences?
By telling stories.
Living Your Story
More importantly, once you have told your story, it is important to live it as well. If God teaches you a lesson, even if it is a small one like, "I feel happy when I am with my friends eating ice cream," you have to take on the lesson and apply it properly. You can tell the story all you want, but if you don't let that resonate with you, then you will never be fully alive. You will never grow in to the beautiful flower you were meant to be.
I have a tendency to ignore my more positive stories after I have told them. Instead of choosing to be happy, I let myself get hurt over and over again, even though I know exactly what would make me smile. This causes me to reflect constantly on the happy memories that happen every day. If I do not tell every single person all of the happy little details of my life, I do not feel fulfilled.
I mean, I felt it important to tell everyone that I found slide projectors from 1996 in my lab.
Before this week, I chose to stay quiet and not talk very much in the lab. I did not really let them see how excited I was to perform the smallest of experiments. I did not talk about how many articles I had read, nor I did share how happy I was to be able to talk about science every day for ten weeks. Instead, I sat in my little corner desk and avoided everyone.
I was miserable.
But this week is better because I have talked to the others about my family, about myself, and about how happy I am to study science. I am being me. I am being the quirky, goofy, nerdy girl that I am proud to be.
And now that I am being me, I am starting to feel a shift in the lab. I don't have to wear my headphones, nor do I have to hide in the corner. I can talk to people and make jokes without being prompted.
Life is better when you do what you are supposed to do AND be who you are supposed to be.
So let people tell their stories. Tell your stories. And when you're all done, live your story as well.
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