Dear Science

Dear Science,

You have been in my life ever since I was born. From infancy, I have been in labs with my parents, and while I do not remember those days, certainly you have. Even though both of my parents moved on past your walls- my father to pursue medicine and my mother to raise our family- I could not escape you forever (Perhaps it is my last name Newton).

I have always had an inquisitive mind. I found myself asking "why?" more and more each day, and I never had to go far to find the answers. My parents first taught me about you, and then my school started to give me a dose of you for an hour every day. It was good to ask questions, and it was even better to try harder.

When I got older, you became more difficult to understand. At times, I thought that you were not meant to be in my life. Clearly you got along better with some of my friends....

However, when I got to college, you were what made me unique. Everyone at my school studies music, yet I found myself working on General Chemistry in the lobby of my building. Instead of worrying about how you interacted with everyone else, I chose to enjoy the relationship that we had. I hated memorization and plants, but I loved learning about the interactions that happen every nanosecond. There was something special for me.

When I started Organic Chemistry, I thought our relationship would come to an end. They all said that if I was great at Gen Chem, that I would fail Orgo. That was not the case. Organic chemistry became the only thing that made sense to me. When boys broke my heart, residents were cruel, and microbiology made my life miserable, I would spend hours in the Patton Basement, drawing out challenging mechanisms that I would never have to use in class. You gave me a safe place where I could work hard and be successful, even when I felt hurt and useless everywhere else.

You continued to heal my heart as I grew further. Biochemistry and Molecular Biology were just like Gen Chem in that I felt completely unique in my studies. I loved learning the material, and I did not care that everyone else was so stressed out. In fact, I found nothing but joy in those text books, journal articles, and lab reports. Exams were not something to fear, but rather an opportunity to share just how much I could learn. As nerdy as it was, I could not be afraid when I was with you in my junior year.

Entering this summer of doing nothing but spending time with you was terrifying. I held you close to my heart, and I was scared of losing you. See, I was dealing with some social stuff, and I was scared that if I lost my safe place I would crumble and fall apart.

We did not get along all too well in the first week. I was too scared to try to make it work. But I got over it, and I started to gain confidence in you again.

After spending eight to nine hours every day in the basement for four weeks, I have started to feel a lot better about myself. The confidence that I lost in the past year came back with a lot to spare. The joy I felt reading articles came back. The essence of who I am as a person filled my entire being again. Because I had you, and because I was able to work alongside you, I found myself again.

In all of the questions and failures and trials and tribulations of research, I found myself again. I found the curious girl that asked her parents questions every chance she had. I found the happy girl who wanted to do everything and more. I found the vocation God intended for me. I found everything because of you.

Thank you Science for working God's will in to my life and healing my heart.

Felicity