Dear Friend,
For your entire life, you have been loving on people. You have been the one that people can turn to in a crisis, in a moment of joy, and in the unexpected turns of life. If there was a need for love, you would fill it, no questions asked. Day after day you loved on these people.
But there was that one friend.
You know exactly who you are thinking of. It was that friend that seemed to respond to your love unlike the others. They would sit with you and listen to you, and what's more, they would thank you for everything you did. In a world of takers, it seemed like you were being given something. Your love had transformed from an output to an input.
But then they were gone...just like everyone else.
You tell yourself that it is ok, that you have been through this before. People have stopped being your friend before, and you clearly were helpful for them. Their lives are better now, and even if they did miss you, they have too much going on to do anything about it. You are happy for them.
But this friend is different. They seem to be completely the same. Nothing you did made a difference in their lives, and you feel like maybe it was your fault that they regressed to the person you used to know. Maybe you hurt them. Maybe you were the problem. Maybe your need for love was just too much for them, and they were relieved that you weren't around anymore.
Maybe your love is worthless.
Do not think that your life did not make an impact on their life. Think of ATP Synthase, the protein that allows for the creation of ATP, the "fuel molecule of the cell." Without ATP, the cell could not function, just as the world does not function without your ability to love. When ATP levels are low, molecules of ADP go in to the synthase and are released as ATP. At the end, the synthase looks completely the same, like the ATP/ADP reaction did not matter in the least bit.
But if you looked at the protein, you would see that this reaction did change the ATP Synthase. As the ATP was being reformed from ADP, the Synthase was rotating. It was only a small distance, but the protein moved. And it was the ATP's decision to change and leave the complex that allowed for this shift to happen.
A friend does not just let you sit in the same place for your entire life. A friend teaches you how to love, how to give back to those who gave something to you. If you have a valuable friendship, then you are able to move outside of this friendship to love other people. Some friendships last forever, but others end, but at the end of the day, a truly valuable friendship causes a change in both parties so that more love may extend to the world.
Sometimes we are the ATP Synthase, taking people in and letting them go. Sometimes we are the ATP molecule, being released from the seemingly unchanged Synthase. We give something to the synthase, we cause it to move, and in the end, we are changed for the better.
But that change in our hearts does not go in vain.
As the synthase moves, more ADP comes in.
Your decision to love more than one person, to be ok with the gradual release of a relationship, is what allows for more people to come in.
You may never be able to see the impact you made on someone's life. You may never have the opportunity to hear about the good things you did, or the way things got better for your former friend. You might search for answers for years, but you may not find them in conversations or Facebook posts or the awkward smiles on campus.
But you felt the shift when you changed for the better.
You know what happened.
You know you mattered.
So regardless of how you may think everything turned out, remember that your love did have an impact. Your life made a difference in the life of your friend. Your decision to enter their life and love them caused a shift.
Your love matters.
Always.
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