I do not know how many of my Dear Readers have noticed, but our society has a problem with looking down. Constantly. It is a result of looking at our phones, tablets, and for the common student, hunching over our textbooks during an all-nighter.
Fun fact: our heads are heavy. (no matter how big your ego is.) When we put our bodies in this position, we add an extra 60 pounds to our spine.
60 pounds guys.
That is like a small child is sitting straight on your spine.
No wonder back pain affects 85% of Americans!
There is another reason why we look down. You encounter it everyday. Regardless of where we are walking, who we are around, or where we need to be going, we look down at our feet as we walk around. Instead of looking at those around us, we look at our shoes.
Or how about going in to an elevator without your phone? After a soft smile or Suh Dude, we end up looking at our phones. If you do not have your phone, you have to face the tragedy of uncomfortable silence filled with social media you know that your elevator companion has already read, but is choosing to scroll through again to avoid speaking to you.
My challenge this week was simple: Look Up.
When I walked through campus, I put my phone in my pocket and looked at the people around me. When I got in the elevator, I tried my best to have a full conversation with the unfortunate soul that wanted to avoid the RA. Basically, I kept my head in proper alignment.
Here are some things I noticed:
One of the best things that I got to do when I walked across campus was look straight in to the eyes of people walking past me and smile at them. I wish I could say that people expected it, but I could tell by the way they looked at me that they were genuinely surprised that someone engaged them that day.
6 beautiful souls had tearful eyes.
Countless eyes were filled with anxiety.
I do not know why these people were distressed, but I know that they needed love. I know that when I am struggling that I tend to avoid the gaze of those around me. I tend to hide myself away so as not to look weak. Honestly, if I had just received a smile from a stranger on a day where I failed an exam or was rejected, I probably would not have responded so negatively.
2. You do not need a soundtrack to your life.
At the beginning of the week, I put my Beats on as I walked across campus. It was a bit of a safety blanket, but the music quickly became more of a hinderance than an asset.
If I was looking at people, then I inevitably would have to greet them, and if they said anything to me, I would have to respond. With my music on, I could hardly hear them. I am sure that I responded improperly every time someone spoke to me. Was I good or was I on my way to class?
Who knows.
We do not need to have a soundtrack to our lives. Instead, our soundtracks are the small greetings and the giggles we share with those we encounter. By looking up, I saw just how joyful my life could become if I simply engaged in each stranger I met.
3. It is hard to keep your head up on a bad day.
Last Wednesday was an awful day for me. My presentation went poorly, I was tired, my friends all made plans with out me, I missed my old friends, and I was just overall sick of how lonely I felt. After my night class, I went to bathroom and I finally allowed myself to cry.
Then I realized...
I had to cross campus.
This was the hardest day to keep my head up, but I knew that I would be mad at myself if I kept my head down. Because I was so tired and sad, I could not keep the tears from streaming down my face as I walked.
My staff members immediately noticed something was wrong. After all, my name means “happiness,” and I rarely had a bad day, let alone cried in public. And without me asking, they sprang in to action. One of them told me that he was praying for me as I hit the elevator button. Another one of them came to my room and brought me Hershey Kisses and a Hug. (Hugs and Kisses as she cleverly called it).
This moment showed me that even though it was hard for me to look up and show myself to the world, it was all the more necessary to let others see me. I was vulnerable, and people were able to love on me.
4. Do not look away from something just because you are scared of the outcome.
On the same day, I shared a less than positive experience. On my way back from class, I ran in to quite a few people.
Almost every single one of them looked away, fiddling for their phone, pretending that they were getting a phone call.
A surprising large number avoided me by crossing the street.
After spending a few days looking in to the eyes of these people, after smiling and loving on them, I could not believe that there was not a single person that could not just look up from their phone for five seconds to smile at the crying girl.
Then I remembered: I used to do the exact same thing.
While we would love to say that we are there to comfort the stranger, we tend to avoid uncomfortable and messy situations. We do not know what they are going through, and even though we probably could help them, we choose to avoid the unknown. It is hard enough to help our best friend, let alone a stranger.
But we need to take care of our fellow humans. We need to recognize their crosses, and we need to get behind them and lighten the load, even if it is for only a few steps.
All we need to do is look up.
And see them.
My grandfather, Tata, was a great man. He was an immigrant from Italy who lived in New Jersey. Tata had to learn english, and he was a quiet and shy boy. My grandmother, Monga, loves to tell us how he tackled his shyness. My shy little Tata would go to the city and he would look straight in to the eyes of everyone that passed him.
I can only imagine how many lives touched Tata’s in those formative days of his life. I can only imagine how many lives he touched just by looking at these strangers. All I know is that he grew up to be a confident and loving man who I look up to every day.
Even though he has passed, I know that my Tata is still looking in to the eyes of each member of my family, each friend of his, and probably many others, and loving them.
So let’s look up friends.
Our spines and our hearts will be grateful for it.
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