Lonely In Your Chapter

We all like to say that we are all there for each other and that our chapters are different.

We like to say that everyone has our back and that we feel safe sharing anything with anyone.

We like to say that everything is perfect.

But it isn't.

As much as we love what our sororities stand for, there is something that has crept in to Greek Life that we cannot ignore anymore. It is something that makes some of us feel important, strong, better than anyone else. It is something that tears others apart, and it is killing the meaning behind "Sisterhood."

We form cliques.

Some call it squad. Some call it family. Some call it posse. Whatever it is, we find our little group of friends that we stick to within the chapter, and we avoid the possibility of having an uncomfortable conversation with someone new.

Then we go and complain that we do not know anyone in our chapter.

Because of the clique-y nature of our sororities, we close ourselves off from new relationships. If we do not party, or if we do not go to the same parties, or if we do not have a class with these people, we stand aside. We will smile nicely if they are wearing our letters, but we do not go past that. We do not invite them to grab lunch or coffee, and we certainly do not leave our group when we are at a sisterhood event.

This is not why we joined Greek Life.

Most women enter a sorority because they want to associate themselves with other women that share the same values and are able to lift them up. A sorority is meant to foster kindness and support and friendship across the board. If we wanted to pay to be sorted in to a clique based on our major or personality, then we would just go back to high school.

The number of times that I have seen a sister, whether it be in my own sorority or another one on campus, sitting alone in the middle of her sisters and being completely ignored is too high.

Why do we let people be lonely in a crowded room?

Why do we ignore the fact that while we may have friends, someone is desperately searching for a place to call home?

When I first joined Greek Life, I was one of the girls who sat alone at the basketball games. People talked to me sometimes, and everyone was very accepting and nice, but they were too involved in their clique to really include me on their own. I was very hurt that no one invited me to hang out with them.

I could have dwelled on this.

I could have grown bitter and cynical.

I could have resented the women of my chapter.

But I did something different.

I decided to be the leader that I wanted to see. When I noticed a sister sitting on her own, I would go sit with her. When I met a new member, I made a point to learn their name, find out their twitter handle, and I made sure to tell her which sisters may have the same interests as them. When I go to sporting events, I sit with new sisters each time. When I know I am going to a sisterhood event, I try to meet a new woman each time.

I chose to not have a clique.

I still have my family, and I am extremely grateful for that. My big has supported me beyond compare, and my little has helped me become more confident in the world. However, I do not let my family consume my entire experience within my chapter.

Because I chose to be without a clique, I have had the opportunity to be included in many different cliques. This includes the women who party, but they do not broadcast it on social media. This includes the nerds who save our chapter's GPA. This includes the srat stars, the new members, the quiet girls, the loud girls, the religious girls, the non-religious girls, and most importantly, it includes the women that I never would have expected to meet on my own.

I have gained the love and support of all 196 women within my chapter.

While so many women speak on feeling lonely within their chapters, I have found a place to call home on my college campus.

I have gained the greatest clique of them all: my chapter.

All because I chose to avoid making a clique.

I urge each woman reading this message to reach out to their sisters. I urge you to get to know someone new. I urge you to talk to someone who may feel a bit out of place at chapter. I urge you to look away from your phone and your flawless instagram pictures to look in to the eyes of your sisters and see someone who needs your love.

Let's change #SquadGoals in to #ChapterGoals

Let's mean it when we say, "I have 200 women who are there for me."