3 Reasons Why Saying Goodbye is a Good Thing

Many of us believe that if we are no longer associated with someone that we did something wrong. Clearly they were our friend, and we loved them, but they decided that they did not need us anymore.

We strive to stay so that someone else might.

We don't say goodbye to the people and places that negatively impact our lives, nor do we move on towards our dreams. We hold on, even though we know we shouldn't.

I am not saying that long term relationships are not possible. I am certainly not saying that maintaining a beneficial relationship, such as a family like my own, is wrong. In fact, I believe that there are some key people that are meant to stay in your life.

But you don't have to hurt just to avoid being alone

And here is why:

1. The World is Not Meant to Remain Constant

All life changes and moves. Nothing, not even the mountains, maintains their form.

So then why should we?

Surely, there are some things that stay the same. The Earth still has its general structure, and the continents still exist. Animals still hunt, and humanity still rules the land. However, at the end of the day, nature changes so that something greater can happen.

At the genetic level, DNA separates in order for new strands to be made, new proteins to be translated, and new processes to occur. If the DNA did not separate, then the cell would die. This is because the separation allows for new interactions, ones that are necessary for all aspects of life.

When we choose to hold on to something that is not healthy for us, we are not allowing ourselves to act as nature drives us to. We cannot make new connections, ones that we so desperately need in order to feel fulfilled.

It is in our DNA to shift and change.

Nothing is wrong with you or the person.

Sometimes life just does not work in the configuration that you are in.

And that is ok.


2. The End Does Not Mean Bad Blood

I think the hardest part about leaving someone is the fear of drama. We like to think that everyone else cares about who we are friends with and who we talk to and who we are in love with. After all, they bothered to listen to us complain about it, so then obviously they are going to eat up all of the aftermath correct?

"Cause, baby, now we got bad blood

you know it used to be mad love" ~Taylor Swift

We like to think that because of the injury caused by that person that everything we used to know about them is gone. It's all bad blood now. Caught up in the drama of it all, we create an enemy in the one that we left.

They are the enemy.

And because we don't want enemies, we stay.

I would like to offer an alternative. It's not exactly my idea, but rather the idea presented by Walt Disney's Fox and the Hound, my favorite Disney movie.

"Goodbye may seem forever

Farewell is like the end

But in my heart's a memory

And there you'll always be"

Just because you are no longer part of that person's life does not mean that you have to lose everything about them. Maybe your time together has ended, but the benefits of that relationship do not have to be over.

Why would you forget about the time that you texted them that you were sitting outside their house in the freezing cold and they came to sit with you? Or that time that you danced in the sprinklers? Or those moments that did not really matter to anyone, but made your day?

But when you need the help, you can dig those memories out of your heart. Your heart is where all of the blood is collected and transported. So then if you choose to maintain the good memories over the bad, then none of the blood will be bad.

Just because they hurt you does not mean everything was a waste.

It is just time to find new memories.

3. You Will Not Be Alone

The greatest fear we have with saying goodbye is the fear of being alone. We fear that our friendships will deteriorate, or that maybe we will not find someone that will understand us as well as that other person did.

We would rather feel the pain of not being loved in return than take the chance to be alone.

But you are not alone.

Allow me to interject with my own story.

I recently decided to end a very long friendship, one that was filled with unnecessary drama and had far too many people involved with it. Because of how many people became my friends through that story, I was terrified that no one would want to talk to me anymore, or maybe they would judge me for "giving up" on my old friend. I was sick to my stomach at the thought of having to face my senior year alone.

Ironically enough, I do not even know if he cared. I do not even know if he knows that we are not friends anymore.

That does not matter though.

Because I took the risk of removing myself from that place, I found myself more available to those around me. The friends that I had found over the years were still there, and many of them rejoiced at the amount of time I had to spend with them. They did not have to ask why I was able to be with them again; they just missed me.

It turns out that one of my sorority sisters had actually been keeping tabs on my old friend and I, even after she had moved out of my building. She talked to people about it. Even though I was wrapped up in that relationship, she still cared about me.

Regardless of how far you have gone, people will always care.

You will never be alone.

You are made for something greater.

Believe in something greater.

I believe in you.