Belief in Something Greater

The theme for Belmont University in its 125th year is "Belief in Something Greater". After hearing a few intriguing lectures in my Biophysical Chemistry class and reflecting a bit on what God had to say on this matter, these thoughts came to my heart.

So I will share them with y'all.

The Science of Something Greater
In the late 1800's to the mid 1900's a German Physicist named Max Planck created the field of Quantum Mechanics. There were many great things that this man discovered, but there was one that troubled him a bit: at the base level of all things, molecules moved completely at random. There was no order to the little particles that made up everything. After growing up in a strong Lutheran family and ultimately converting to some sort of deism, Planck struggled with the ultimate randomness of the universe. After all, if God made everything, and if God made a plan, then shouldn't all things have order?

Planck's struggle with the randomness of the universe is similar to that of our own lives. We go through random experiences and we do random things and sometimes we feel as if our lives have little effect on the world around us. After all, we are just one person.

"One tear in the dropping rain
One voice in a sea of pain
Could the maker of the stars
Hear the sound of my breaking heart"

~Hold My Heart, Tenth Avenue North

I had this thought while sitting in my gazebo the other day. Belmont University has been around for 125 years, and several people have sat within the open walls of my gazebo. My story was small in comparison to the many stories that came to be from that gazebo. Yet for some reason, everything that happened there changed my whole life, and I became a different person there.

Perhaps there was something greater at hand.

Ironically, there was an answer to Planck's questions far before he asked them. In the mid 1800's, two men named Boltzmann and Maxwell applied statistics to systems in order to understand them more clearly.

What they discovered was that regardless of temperature, enthalpy, and a few other factors, that systems all had the same result. Entropy was increased.

Entropy is typically defined as disorder. After all, that seems to make a bit more sense to us. And it does call for some pretty funny comics.

If you did not want to read about physics, stick with me for just a second.

What Entropy really is is not increased disorder. Instead, it is an increase in possibilities. All systems move towards having more possibilities, even if it doesn't make sense. For example, sometimes a system gets colder after it does some amount of work. Everything else in science would say that this reaction would not happen, but it does...every single time.

Now let's think about the little random particles that Planck was studying. They were moving about randomly, and it seemed like they were not functioning as a unit.

But if you put them together, you can see that they are moving so that more possibilities may be made possible. Not only that, but if you look at the system as a whole, you will see that the majority of these seemingly random particles are moving towards that greater end. And as more and more particles come together, less and less of them are found in the outskirts.

All of creation is moving towards creating more.

God uses our seemingly random lives to create something greater.

Separated, it may all seem meaningless and empty, but in context, all of life has an ordered end: creation. Once in Heaven, we are unified with God, and through that Communion, we continue to take part in the creation of the world. God wills for more and more to happen.

But the increase in Entropy, the increase in possibilities, would not happen if it were not for the seemingly random motion of each molecule in the system.

So then, let's return to Belmont for a moment. Let's go back to my little gazebo in the middle of campus.

My Something Greater

At first, I was a scared and lonely girl. My family had just moved to Nashville, and my best friend from high school had decided that we were no longer friends. Heartbroken, lost, and confused, I decided to force myself out of my shell and talk to people that I never thought I would talk to before.

My first best day happened in the little gazebo across the giant stairs of Pembroke. In that place, the little girl was vulnerable for the first time. She talked to a boy she hardly knew about everything and anything; she was real.

Nostalgic and sentimental, I returned to that gazebo day after day. Most of the time, I did not bring anyone along with me. Nearly every day, I talked to God, and I thanked Him for the safety I had found in those I met. I had a story to tell, and I felt like I was part of something. If anything were to go wrong, I knew that I was safe in my gazebo, clutching to my rosary and begging God to give me the life I needed.

As my time at Belmont progressed, I met more and more people outside of my little gazebo. Some of them strengthened me. Some of them broke me down. They each had their own stories to tell, their own lives to live, their own little safe places on campus.

But I still had my gazebo.

And I hid inside it instead of talking to people about the more important things in my life.

I did not believe in something greater.

Then one day, I saw that I was alone. No one came to sit with me in the gazebo, and I felt completely silent in the context of the greater story. I felt tiny and worthless. The woman that had grown in confidence, beauty, and grace was now a girl consumed in desperation, infatuation, and sarcasm.

So I stood up and walked out of my gazebo. I walked to the people sitting in the Beaman, laying on the floor on my hallway, dancing in the BlackBox, recording on the weekends, playing in the Curb, drinking coffee at Bongo, and praying in the chapel.

So many lives

So many stories

So many different purposes

So seemingly random

Yet...these lives were part of something greater. They were each part of the Belmont community. Regardless of their majors, their creed, their relationship status, their age...anything really, these people were the surroundings that encased the system of my heart. I could release any of the pent up aggression, fear, or sadness that had broken my heart. I could participate in their activities. I could listen to their songs. I could listen to them. I could dance with them.

I could do anything with them.

I just had to release my energy and allow for the possibilities to come through to my heart.

I had to accept the laws of the universe and increase the entropy of my life.

Because of each of the lives at Belmont University, I found myself again. Instead of anger, I found peace. Instead of sass, I found empathy. Instead of silence, I found a solid prayer life. The seemingly random lives that I encountered every day were simply moving in my life so that I may move towards the ordered end of that God gave me: a life where anything was possible.

I was not stuck in the life I had created.

There was so much more.

Believe in Something Greater

I know that my experience of something greater is not the only one in Belmont's 125 year long story. Each member of the Belmont Community is deeply loved and respected and needed.

"For you are all one in Christ Jesus." ~Galatians 3:28

God put each life here to do something great. He did not just put you on this Earth by a whim. It wasn't just some silly joke. He is not playing Simms with your life.

No. He gave you a life so that you could be a part of what brings each person to Heaven, to that ultimate level of possibilities and creation. He made you so that more life could be found in you. Each person in my life has made it possible for me to find more life within my own little story, from the boy on night one to the sisters who sat with me in the Beaman this morning.

Belief is such an amazing word.

It is better than wishing for something greater, which is a sign that there is not something greater and you are desperate to find it. It is better than hope, which is a sign that you have given up and do not even know if you could find something greater. It is better than dream, because dreams are not reality. Take belief and turn it in to a verb:

Believe.

Believe is an active verb. It calls us to move towards that greater end. By believing in the "something greater," we are able to create something far greater than we could have ever imagined on our own.

So thank you Belmont for calling us to believe in something greater.

Thank you for letting me come back to my gazebo, day after day, and letting me pray for each life that will some day sit in the same spot as me, growing in to that great man or woman you created.

You Suffering Matters

Think about something that bothers you. Is it your stomach? Is it your schedule? Is it your ex, your friends, or your family? Is it that one hair that never seems to fall in to place? Is it your job?

Maybe it is something deeper than that.

Is it loneliness? Is it anger? Is it desperation? Is it envy? Is it heartbreak?

We all have something that is hurting us. Every single person is experiencing some form of struggle, and whether it is an emotional or physical pain, it is part of their life. Behind all of the smiles and jokes, there is a child struggling to find their place.

At some point, you just start to accept that  something sucks. You know that your heart has been broken, or that you are now allergic to your favorite food, or your grades are not quite what you expected them to be. It is easy to handle each little thing, but as these struggles start to pile up, the story changes.

At its Worst

How about those days when everything seems to go wrong? What about those days when you cannot get anything right? Your car breaks down, you wore your shirt backwards, and you left your keys in your room. You find out your friends were talking about you behind your back, and your crush suddenly finds love...somewhere else of course.

You try to cope, but as the events start to pile up, you get crushed.

It is in these times where we feel the most abandoned. No one seems to understand why we are so upset about the little thing we tell them about. We sit in our rooms, fuming because of the misinterpretation of the world. Angry, hurt, and lost.

And it does not seem to be getting any better.

So you tell yourself that if you just keep doing what you are supposed to that it will all get better. If you study harder, your classes will get easier. If you work harder, you will be able to make more money and your coworkers will respect you more. If you live more fully, then your heart will heal and you won't have to be alone anymore.

But you are still alone.

You are still struggling.

And no one understands.

Does it really matter? All of our pain, all of our sorrow, all of our anger...does any of it really make a difference in the world? Why are people dying of diseases like Alzheimer's? Why is cancer still a thing? Why are more and more mental illnesses being diagnosed? Why do we feel pain?

It all seems worthless.

It isn't.

Someone Else Felt Your Pain

In the first century AD, there was a poor man. He worked with his hands until they were raw. Then one day, he went out to preach. Because of his kind words and good works, many people followed him. They came in massive crowds from all over the land.

Then one day, the man started to preach about more difficult things. He was not a "feel good" person anymore, and his followers did not like him anymore. After one short exchange, thousands left his presence. Only twelve remained. They were not cool, nor were they all too bright.

The people that did not like the man decided to get rid of him. But because they were jealous people, they decided to humiliate him in the process. Instead of being treated like any other citizen, they mocked him like a slave and gave him a cruel punishment.

The kind man who worked hard his entire life was forced to carry a giant cross and be hung upon it.

Pain

Rejection

Loss

It all came to this man, a man who did not deserve it. He deserved all of the friends in the world, and he deserved a comfortable life. He should have been a king.

He chose this instead

It was this man's pain that saved the world. He felt everything that we have felt. His arms were sore. His father passed away. His friends left him. He was misunderstood, hated, and lonely. No matter what we feel, he has felt it before. Jesus Christ knows everything, not just by knowledge itself, but by the wisdom of experience.

Your Pain Matters

"It is the cross that tells you that your pain matters." ~Fr. John Simms Baker

God's Son got on the Cross that day because He loved you. Something I have always wondered is if the salvation of the world would have been possible had Jesus not died in this humiliating manner. Also, would anyone have cared if Jesus had been rich and then was put to death?

I don't think so.

Jesus lived a common life. People could relate to Him. That, and He was not just some fake public figure who had a government to run or a social circle to worry about. Jesus was a regular guy who seemed to have everything go wrong all the time. Every single bad day we have, Jesus had for the majority of His life.

Despite all of that Jesus endured

He willingly said, "I love you."

And He died.

People noticed that about Jesus. Regardless of what suffering was present, Jesus was able to come and take it away. Each little malady was taken away, each lonely woman found comfort, everything imaginable was healed.

Even death on a cross.

The Most Important Work You'll Ever Do

When we undergo pain and heartache, we have the opportunity to act as Christ did. We live through the struggle and show love. By showing a certain level of grace, despite the struggle, allows the light of the world to come. When we come to someone else, crying because we cannot take it anymore, beauty is made visible.

Suffering gives love an opportunity to come in.

And when love comes, Heaven is seen.

Souls are saved.

You may not feel it right now, but your struggles are saving souls. Your smile to the girls who can't seem to hold it together may remind them that God does love them. Your ability to stand up, even though your ankle is sprained, shows the world that you can find strength.

And each person that comes to your aid allows for a little bit of Heaven to shine through to all who witness their actions and to you as you go through each day.

Fight the good fight.

Do not feel like you have to fight alone.

For your cross, and those who carry it with you, is what allows us to join Jesus in the salvation of the world.

3 Reasons Why Saying Goodbye is a Good Thing

Many of us believe that if we are no longer associated with someone that we did something wrong. Clearly they were our friend, and we loved them, but they decided that they did not need us anymore.

We strive to stay so that someone else might.

We don't say goodbye to the people and places that negatively impact our lives, nor do we move on towards our dreams. We hold on, even though we know we shouldn't.

I am not saying that long term relationships are not possible. I am certainly not saying that maintaining a beneficial relationship, such as a family like my own, is wrong. In fact, I believe that there are some key people that are meant to stay in your life.

But you don't have to hurt just to avoid being alone

And here is why:

1. The World is Not Meant to Remain Constant

All life changes and moves. Nothing, not even the mountains, maintains their form.

So then why should we?

Surely, there are some things that stay the same. The Earth still has its general structure, and the continents still exist. Animals still hunt, and humanity still rules the land. However, at the end of the day, nature changes so that something greater can happen.

At the genetic level, DNA separates in order for new strands to be made, new proteins to be translated, and new processes to occur. If the DNA did not separate, then the cell would die. This is because the separation allows for new interactions, ones that are necessary for all aspects of life.

When we choose to hold on to something that is not healthy for us, we are not allowing ourselves to act as nature drives us to. We cannot make new connections, ones that we so desperately need in order to feel fulfilled.

It is in our DNA to shift and change.

Nothing is wrong with you or the person.

Sometimes life just does not work in the configuration that you are in.

And that is ok.


2. The End Does Not Mean Bad Blood

I think the hardest part about leaving someone is the fear of drama. We like to think that everyone else cares about who we are friends with and who we talk to and who we are in love with. After all, they bothered to listen to us complain about it, so then obviously they are going to eat up all of the aftermath correct?

"Cause, baby, now we got bad blood

you know it used to be mad love" ~Taylor Swift

We like to think that because of the injury caused by that person that everything we used to know about them is gone. It's all bad blood now. Caught up in the drama of it all, we create an enemy in the one that we left.

They are the enemy.

And because we don't want enemies, we stay.

I would like to offer an alternative. It's not exactly my idea, but rather the idea presented by Walt Disney's Fox and the Hound, my favorite Disney movie.

"Goodbye may seem forever

Farewell is like the end

But in my heart's a memory

And there you'll always be"

Just because you are no longer part of that person's life does not mean that you have to lose everything about them. Maybe your time together has ended, but the benefits of that relationship do not have to be over.

Why would you forget about the time that you texted them that you were sitting outside their house in the freezing cold and they came to sit with you? Or that time that you danced in the sprinklers? Or those moments that did not really matter to anyone, but made your day?

But when you need the help, you can dig those memories out of your heart. Your heart is where all of the blood is collected and transported. So then if you choose to maintain the good memories over the bad, then none of the blood will be bad.

Just because they hurt you does not mean everything was a waste.

It is just time to find new memories.

3. You Will Not Be Alone

The greatest fear we have with saying goodbye is the fear of being alone. We fear that our friendships will deteriorate, or that maybe we will not find someone that will understand us as well as that other person did.

We would rather feel the pain of not being loved in return than take the chance to be alone.

But you are not alone.

Allow me to interject with my own story.

I recently decided to end a very long friendship, one that was filled with unnecessary drama and had far too many people involved with it. Because of how many people became my friends through that story, I was terrified that no one would want to talk to me anymore, or maybe they would judge me for "giving up" on my old friend. I was sick to my stomach at the thought of having to face my senior year alone.

Ironically enough, I do not even know if he cared. I do not even know if he knows that we are not friends anymore.

That does not matter though.

Because I took the risk of removing myself from that place, I found myself more available to those around me. The friends that I had found over the years were still there, and many of them rejoiced at the amount of time I had to spend with them. They did not have to ask why I was able to be with them again; they just missed me.

It turns out that one of my sorority sisters had actually been keeping tabs on my old friend and I, even after she had moved out of my building. She talked to people about it. Even though I was wrapped up in that relationship, she still cared about me.

Regardless of how far you have gone, people will always care.

You will never be alone.

You are made for something greater.

Believe in something greater.

I believe in you.