Your Life Begins Outside Your Comfort Zone

"Life begins at the end  of your comfort zone." I am sure that my Dear Readers have seen this phrase before. It is typically used when someone is trying to convince someone else to do something different. Sometimes it is posted like this:

Regardless of how we have been exposed to it, most people identify "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone" as a meaningless cliche.

What we need to remember is that we must go outside of our comfort zone.

Where is my comfort zone?

If we are to go outside of our comfort zone, then we need to know where to begin. Unfortunately, there is not a clear definition of a comfort zone. However, there are a few different versions that I have found in my own life.

1. Your daily routine- everyone has their ways to unwind or get started or eat and whatnot. It is easy to stick to a routine, even when it includes something that is unhealthy.

2. Your relationships- We all have a circle of friends that we associate ourselves with. And as they say, the people you associate with define who you are.

3. Your location- Sometimes we chose to stay in the same place simply because we do not want to remove ourselves from the places and people that we know.

Obviously there are more definitions of a comfort zone, but for time-sake, I will have to move on. However, there is one clear theme amongst these comfort zones: they make use feel happy.

Why is my comfort zone bad if I am happy?

There is a reason it is called our comfort zone. We feel safe and secure in our comfort zone. Everything makes some sort of sense, and we can predict what is coming next. Even if it is not perfect, we know that our lives have structure.

We think that we are happy.

This is one of the greatest mind tricks of all time, and we do it to ourselves.  Because we have convinced ourselves that our lives are good, we do not strive to be better. We do not want to change our way of life losing its consistency. No consistency means no stability which means no security which means no comfort which means no joy.

Even if it would make us happier, we chose to ignore that option. We hide in our routine, our fantasized relationships, or our bedrooms, just to keep ourselves safe. It is frightening that something could be better than what we already know.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. 

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. 

We are not as happy as we may think we are, and we know it.

What is true happiness?

I realize that that last statement seemed a bit morbid. I am certainly not saying that any of my Dear Readers are not happy people. What I am saying is that there is something better. We can always find something better.

So what is the absolute best?

Heaven.

Each human being was designed to be with God in Heaven. Our whole lives are meant to bring us to be in union with God, and as a result, in communion with one another. Heaven, our true home, is the ultimate form of happiness. We will not experience Heaven until we move on from this life, but it is indeed possible to experience Heaven in small ways on Earth.

But where is Heaven on Earth?

Outside of your comfort zone.

Why is Heaven outside of our comfort zone?

It is interesting how throughout the Old Testament God calls the Israelites to go elsewhere. I always felt like they were constantly searching for their true home, and I felt bad for them.

Then I realized what was happening. 

Each time God's chosen people came to a place, something amazing happened. Either the walls of Jericho fell or a war was won or food came from the sky.

But it is not just an Old Testament experience. In the New Testament, the phrase, "and Jesus passed by" comes up numerous times, and every single time, a miracle happens. Jesus did not stay in his hometown, his "comfort zone" if you will.

"Amen I say to you, no prophet is accepted in his own native place" ~Luke 4:24

When we go outside of our comfort zone, amazing things are possible. This is mostly because our perceived limitations are no longer present. If we do not have any particular expectations, then we can do as much as we can.

And if we can do anything, then God can do anything.

God is able to work outside of our comfort zone, and because He is working within us, glimpses of Heaven are made present.

My Story

Those you who have been reading know that I like to share why this topic is important to me. So that's what I am doing now.

Outside the Zone

This summer has been extremely transformative for me. I would go in to detail, but it will be less redundant if you go here. Because of the experiences I had with my lab at Notre Dame, I had come to know that I was capable of science, worthy of healthy and meaningful relationships, and a truly beautiful child of God.

None of this would have been possible had I not chased my dreams.

Outside of my comfort zone.

Remember how I listed the three types of comfort zones? When I went to Notre Dame, I thought that the only change I was making was in my location. I thought that because I was still talking to people back in Nashville and sticking to a daily routine that I had only changed where I was having my life experiences.

I thought it was only Notre Dame that made me a better person.

Returning to my Zone

That being said, I was terrified about returning to Belmont. During the week leading up to my move in day, my acid reflux returned, I couldn't sleep, and my anxiety was through the roof. Because of the changes I had made in my life during my REU, I was finally confident. If it was only the location that brought that joy in to my life, then going back to Belmont might change things.

I was terrified I was going to become who I used to be.

I was worried that I would be that girl who used to sit in her gazebo, obsessing over the same situation, being more sassy than necessary, and not caring about people in the way she knew she should.

The past few days of RA training have proven this to be false.

RA Training

When I got back to campus, I did not feel the need to go to any of my usual sentimental locations. Instead, I decided to stay in my new Residence Hall and get to know my staff. I did not hide my passions from the world.

And guess what?

I was accepted by this amazing staff.

We own the awkward "family" photos

No Place or Situation Defines You

Yes, being outside of your comfort zone allows your life to fully begin, but where that happens or how that happens does not define who you are. If that were true, then these experiences and locations would become our new comfort zones.

It is who you become in each new location that defines who you are.

Because I decided to maintain the personality that I had gained from the experience I had this summer, I was able to take this new person in to an old location.

I could go in to how I have already started to feel myself growing within this hall already, but that is unnecessary.

It is ok to go outside of your comfort zone. You may fail, but you will not fail to become greater.

"to live in a manner worthy of the Lord, so as to be fully pleasing, in every good work bearing fruit and growing in the knowledge of God" ~ Colossians 1:10

Why You Have to Follow Your Dreams

Dreams. They are all over the place. We are constantly searching the internet for the meaning of the dream about the hot guy eating an Eggo waffle, trying to succeed at lucid dreaming, and watching movies all about dreams.

Or watching JGL. Whatever floats your boat

However, many would not identify dreams as highly important beyond a movie concept or topic of conversation. 

I am writing this to explain the value of dreams in our lives.

The Evolution of Dreams

I believe the main reason why people do not view dreams as important is because the meaning of a dream has changed over the course of time.

Biblical Times

Back in the day, people were far more literal. When they said "an eye for an eye," they meant it. That being said, dreams were not just some fantastical thought. If someone could see it, then it had to be real somehow.

Thank God Pre-modern times did not have iPhones...

God used dreams to talk to people. They could see a potential future or speak to an angel. Dreams were an experience that people took seriously.

The Old Testament is filled with dreams. In these dreams, God was able to show his prophets what was to pass and tell them what to do. Because Joseph was able to interpret dreams, he went from a prisoner to a powerful man in Egypt. People took dreams seriously, and they were anxious to know exactly was to pass because of these dreams.

Modern Times

We are far less literal today. In our modern society, we search for deeper meaning and focus on the future. Our scientific research is mostly focused on things that cannot be seen by the naked eye, but make the biggest difference in our overall health. The past and present are far less important than our futures.

As a result, dreams, at least the traditional sleeping ones, are seen as our subconscious explaining something to us. God no longer is part of that equation. Because of this, God had to find a new avenue for speaking to us.

So a new method of dreaming came to pass.

These new dreams are our passions. What would have been a message from an angel in Biblical times has turned in to a life goal. This could be a career, a relationship, a home, whatever we could possibly desire really. Once we have succeeded, we feel a sense of peace. This is our way of connecting to God's plan in our day to day lives.

Our dreams are God's message to us.

So we need to live them.

My Story

I never wish to sound "preachy" to my Dear Readers, so I like to put my own story in to the equation. I recently have had the experience of watching my dreams come and go and return, and I believe that this story will prove my point more clearly than quotes and theological discussions.

Ground Level

There have been numerous dreams that have filled my head, but I will only focus on a couple of them to save everyone's time.

My first dream was to do something scientific. Ever since I was a baby, I was around science. My father was a geneticist and my mother was a nutritional scientist. I went to the lab as a child, and my parents even propped me up like this:

Yes. I use this picture for everything. I am adorable.

It is a very good thing that I actually fit in to this dream. I was good at science. I could run the lab when my teachers left, and I found joy in studying on a Friday night. The exact path that I would take with science was unclear, but I knew that I was meant to pursue it.

My second dream involved my second passion: dance. 

My technique was not perfect, but the dream was still valid.

The biggest part of dance is the look. While I never desired to look anorexic, I still wanted to be beautiful. I wanted to look like my entire body was filled with power. If I had power, then I could make my tap dances sound better, and I could make more people watch me. It was a superficial dream, but it was a dream nonetheless.

My third dream was about my relationships with other people, boys included of course. I wanted a base of strong women who loved me for I was and enjoyed hanging out with me. I wanted a strong Catholic man who was able to discuss science and laugh with me and cared about other people, like my daddy and little brothers.

Break Down

Now, I am not saying that God makes these dreams come true easily. If that were the case, then we would never find a connection between Him and the passions that drive our lives. The people in the pre-modern era had to interpret their dreams, and we have to find out how our's will come to pass.

So they have to fail.

The first dream to melt away from my mind was my beauty. This came from a few off hand comments from an ex-boyfriend who said that I was "too fat" to be a good girlfriend, and a few other people who said that I was ugly in middle school. Suddenly I was unable to look in the mirror without noticing my flaws first.

The second dream were my relationships. Due to my insecurity, I thought that every woman I was close to viewed me as second-rate. I thought that if I would contact them anymore that they would be annoyed with me and leave. Some people actually left. As far as boys go, I had gone as far as possible from my "dream man." By the end of this school year, I had wasted two years by being interested in a less spiritual boy who cared more about his own life experience than me as a person and was not all too interested in discussing anything.

The third dream was my scientific ability. It had been a week at Notre Dame, and I had done absolutely nothing to further my project. My PI was constantly reminding me that I was behind, and I felt like I shouldn't be there anymore. I cried every single night because I thought I was losing the one passion that had gotten me to where I was.

But God does not let our dreams go to waste.

Living the Dream

I forgot to mention that going to Notre Dame was one of my dreams when I was younger. I had let that go because Notre Dame is super expensive, and I was not entirely sure if I was going to be accepted anyways. Regardless, I was still a huge fan of the school, and it was a dream come true to be on campus for an entire summer.

Therefore, God was able to work here in this dream to help me see what life was meant to be.

The first dream to come back was my belief in my scientific abilities. It was week 2, and I was given several small things to do in order to make my project move forward. Unlike some of my REU friends, I was essentially independent from day 1 of my work. Sure, my lab buddy and the graduate student helped me along the way, but I still had a lot of my own work to do.

I failed a few times over the summer, and my PI suggested that I did not continue with a certain experiment. Angry that I would not be able to complete my task and live the dream, I went ahead and set it up anyways.

It worked. 

My dream of being a scientist came true.

As I went through the summer, I maintained my friendships from back home. Even though I am admittedly the worst texter, I kept up as best I could with the women from back home at Belmont. It was the first time that I had consistent contact with people. And with girls at that! I felt at peace with my support system.

And my heart started to warm up a little, and I could see my dream coming back.

Boys is a little bit of an odd case. When I got to Notre Dame, I was a complete wreck. Over and over I debating falling back to my old pattern. After all, there weren't any guys that actually were as nice as my brothers and my daddy right? As my self confidence was hovering in the balance, I debating texting the old guy over and over again.

Then I started talking to the guys in my lab.

They were just normal guys, but they were some of the nicest men I had ever met. 

The graduate student would take the blame for literally any mistake I made, and he was always checking up on me. He would occasionally talk about his wife and you could just see his eyes sparkle a little more. Several of the REU students told me that they wished they had a graduate student like him in the lab. 

On the other end was my lab buddy who I spent nearly 200 hours with in our little back room. He was the first to go out of his way to help me, even though he thought I was a little weird at first. I could talk to him about science and Jesus and life, and it was perfectly ok.

I realized that there were good people everywhere, even in a little basement room with poor lighting. No, there was no romance, but I could physically see the kind of men I wanted to be friends with.

My dream came true.

And as I continued to live the vocation that the Lord gave me alongside the people that He had sent me to show me how beautiful humanity was, I started to see the world differently. I believed that I was capable and intelligent and important.

And for the first time in four years, I looked in the mirror and noticed the beautiful things first.

My dream came true.

The Point

My purpose for telling y'all this story is to show you that our dreams can come true. Remember how I didn't apply to Notre Dame because I did not think that that dream was feasible?

This is just like how we can choose to ignore our dreams.

Just because a dream does not look feasible does not mean that it does not have a purpose in your life.

Because I took a chance and applied to Notre Dame for my summer research experience, God was able to bring me to where I needed to go. In this environment, God was able to show me that I truly was meant to pursue research, to have amazing friendships, and that I was beautiful. By living out a small dream that I had chosen to forget, everything fell in to place.

Imagine if Joseph decided to ignore his dream about going back to Mary because he thought it would be too hard. The Mother of Our Lord Jesus Christ would have had to go through pregnancy and child rearing all alone. Jesus would not have had a father to build tables with.

People are going to tell you that your dreams are not valid. They are going to say that it doesn't matter if you are successful in some areas because you will never be able to accomplish everything. Dreams are just a wish your heart makes; they don't matter.

Every single one of your dreams matter.

God gives you these dreams so that you can find the happiness that He has created for you.

Thanks to Notre Dame and the Vaughan lab, I was able to find the light in my spirit that I had lost too long ago. While I may not be perfect, I know that I can do anything and I can do better with my life. I have a long way to go as far as being the Christian that I am meant to exemplify, but I know that with God at the head and my dreams burning in my heart, that some day I may see My Father and thank Him for all that He has done.

Give life everything you have.

You deserve it.

Keep dreaming.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope" ~Jeremiah 29:11